VSC Day Six

February 10, 2006

Another intense day at VSC. Visiting writer Brenda Hillman treated the writers to a craft talk on poetry. She is herself an accomplished poet and teaches at St. Mary’s college in the Bay Area. Although her remarks were billed as a poetry craft talk, I felt that the ideas applied to writing in general. Certainly, they apply to my writing. I should tell you what she spoke about, but I m tired and I don’t want to think that hard. Another time, perhaps.

After lunch, I went back to my studio and churned out another 3,000 words. That makes almost 9,000 since Wednesday. The problem is, these are emotionally difficult words to get out. In order to write my memoir – The Requirements of Love –I have read hundreds of journal entries written during one of the most painful periods of my life. An extended period of suffering when lupus made me terribly sick.

I don’t like to read the journal entries; they bring back such dreadful memories. It is hard to read entry after entry of physical misery and emotional misery, too. It affected my whole family badly.

I don’t like reading about it, being reminded again of how we struggled. Then to add to that the painful circumstances under which Tori came to be in our family … well it was too much for me. I need a break now. It’s 10 pm and I think I’ve earned one!! I had planned to quilt, but I don’t think I’m focusing well enough for that (pincushion fingers, anyone?). So into my jammies and curl up with one of my books or a journal that needs to be written. Tomorrow is another day.

Ciao.